Beloved, let us once more praise the rain.
Let us discover some new alphabet,
For this, the often praised; and be ourselves,
The rain, the chickweed, and the burdock leaf,
The green-white privet flower, the spotted stone,
And all that welcomes the rain; the sparrow too,—
Who watches with a hard eye from seclusion,
Beneath the elm-tree bough, till rain is done.
There is an oriole who, upside down,
Hangs at his nest, and flicks an orange wing,—
Under a tree as dead and still as lead;
There is a single leaf, in all this heaven
Of leaves, which rain has loosened from its twig:
The stem breaks, and it falls, but it is caught
Upon a sister leaf, and thus she hangs;
There is an acorn cup, beside a mushroom
Which catches three drops from the stooping cloud.
The timid bee goes back to the hive; the fly
Under the broad leaf of the hollyhock
Perpends stupid with cold; the raindark snail
Surveys the wet world from a watery stone...
What is this poem,Let Us Once More Praise The Rain, by Conrad Aiken about?
I think it is just saying the rain is pretty cool cuz its like water falling from the sky n it gives us like life n yeah just saying the rains beautiful. i dont c any symbolism at all but there could b
Monday, May 11, 2009
Have you ever written a letter to santa?
Dear Santa:
I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.
I want to slap Martha Stewart.
Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it. Don't grant this wish just for me, do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all. Those of us leading average, garden variety lives aren't concerned with gracious living.
We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style for dinner. We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from hollyhock dipped in 18-carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold. Unless it's of the furniture polish variety. We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. Most of us can't even say turmeric, let alone figure out what to do with it.
OK, Santa, maybe you think I'm being a little harsh. But I'll bet with all the holiday rush you didn't catch that interview with Martha in last week's USA Weekend. I'm surprised there was enough room on the page for her ego.
We discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's only ordered it once), she refuses to eat it cold (No cold pizza? Is Martha Stewart living?) When it was pointed out that she could microwave it, she replied, "I don't have a microwave."
The reporter, Jeffrey Zaslow, noted that she said this "in a tone that suggests you shouldn't either."
Well, lah-dee-dah. Imagine that, Santa!
That lovely microwave you brought me years ago, in which I've learned to make complicated dishes like popcorn and hot chocolate, has been declared undesirable by Queen Martha. What next? The coffee maker?
In the article, we learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes adorning an entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And neatly put away, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher that qualifies as "put away" in my house!
Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for friends. "Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone," she boasts. Not just scarves mind you. Amazing scarves. Martha's obviously not shy about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so with such frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue.
She goes on to tell us that "homemaking is glamour for the 90s," and says her most glamorous friends are "interested in stain removal, how to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel." I have one piece of advice, Martha: "Get new friends."
Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim. They drift past the Greek Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step out for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of toilet bowl sanitation. Zaslow notes that Martha was named one of America's 25 most influential people by Time magazine (nosing out Mother Theresa, Madeline Allbright and Maya Angelou, no doubt).
The proof of Martha's influence: after she bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha says, "People saw me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone." I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge.
A guest in Martha's home told Zaslow how Martha gets up early to rollerblade with her dogs to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast.
This confirms what I've suspected about Martha all along: She's obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to rollerblade. What a show off.
If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn't cost much. Pocket change, really. Just $5,000. But what price friendship, right?
When asked if others should envy her, Martha replies, "Don't envy me. I'm doing this because I'm a natural teacher. You shouldn't envy teachers. You should listen to them." Zaslow must have slit a seam in Martha's ego at this point, because once the hot air came hissing out, it couldn't be held back. "Being an overachiever is nothing despicable. It is only admirable. Never lower your standards," says Martha.
And of her Web Page on the Internet, Martha declares herself an "important presence" as she graciously helps people organize their sad, tacky little lives. There you have it, Santa. If there was ever someone who deserved a good smack, it's Martha Stewart. But I bet I won't get my gift this year.
Have you ever written a letter to santa?
Cute and thanks! Can't say much more than another star for you!
Reply:I would like to sign my name to that letter also! Chuckles and a star!!
Reply:I wrote one in 1949, or 1950. Never recieved a reply. Mail's a bit slow, so I'm figuring on an answer next year or the one after that.
Reply:where's the "punch" line ?
Reply:She's one of Santa's suppliers silly. what did you expect ? --- he knows better than you that she's really quite naughty -- and he loves it.
Reply:I have written letters to Santa. I never believed he reads them until I got the new dishwasher delivered a little bit ago. Thanks to Santa and a little help from the hubby, I hope you get what you asked for and agree she needs it.
Reply:I'm still waiting for Santa's reply.
Reply:I did write a letter to Santa and it was published in the newspaper.
I would love to smack Martha myself.. I guess I need to get in line. hehehe
Reply:I agree. I'd like to add Rachel Ray, Oprah %26amp; her ugly clone Dr Phil, Dr Laura, Rush......ok, I'm getting carried away now.
Most of my family is dead. I still have a daughter in the next town. I'm making cookies %26amp; we put up a few decorations, but that's it. My daughter %26amp; I are going to cook Christmas dinner together %26amp; our guys will be there to partake. (We could feed them hot dogs %26amp; they'd be happy!) The few gifts are little things I picked up throughout the year when I saw something I thought someone would like. I'm not crazy about jewelry nor flowers (although I'll take some good chocolate).
Back to Martha.....in that minimum security prison she "attended", they had a decorating contest %26amp; she lost! I loved that!
I found a pack of beef ribs for $4.00 the other day, so I cooked them for the 3 dogs after we were done with the grill the other night %26amp; the coals were still hot. I guarantee they will like them!
OK...I've ranted enough. Have a great holiday in whatever you choose to do. My motto is: "Do no harm, help those you can. Peace!
Reply:You are so darned cute! I "learn" from every post you make! Please don't ever stop.
Merry Christmas to you and all you love, and I truly hope you get your wish! June
Reply:Never wrote a letter to Santa. I am not a Martha fan. Even my paper plates don't match. This is cute. Thank you.
Reply:If reincarnation is true, I have said that I want to come back as one of Martha Stewart's pets. They seem to lead a more comfortable life than I do. After reading this from you, I am going to rethink my wish. Thank you.
Reply:I don't think I ever believed in Santa and the only reason I ever wrote a letter to him was because my primary school teacher made us do it.
Reply:That is so funny, and SO TRUE! But I love Martha,
she is a corporation all to herself, and that IS her life. She has no other. She reminds me that I really don't HAVE to be perfect, because she is doing it for me!
On the other hand, she has parlayed a few home crafts into a multimillion dollar industry. Annoying or not, she did it. But I don't envy her, not for a New York second.
I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.
I want to slap Martha Stewart.
Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it. Don't grant this wish just for me, do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all. Those of us leading average, garden variety lives aren't concerned with gracious living.
We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style for dinner. We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from hollyhock dipped in 18-carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold. Unless it's of the furniture polish variety. We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. Most of us can't even say turmeric, let alone figure out what to do with it.
OK, Santa, maybe you think I'm being a little harsh. But I'll bet with all the holiday rush you didn't catch that interview with Martha in last week's USA Weekend. I'm surprised there was enough room on the page for her ego.
We discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's only ordered it once), she refuses to eat it cold (No cold pizza? Is Martha Stewart living?) When it was pointed out that she could microwave it, she replied, "I don't have a microwave."
The reporter, Jeffrey Zaslow, noted that she said this "in a tone that suggests you shouldn't either."
Well, lah-dee-dah. Imagine that, Santa!
That lovely microwave you brought me years ago, in which I've learned to make complicated dishes like popcorn and hot chocolate, has been declared undesirable by Queen Martha. What next? The coffee maker?
In the article, we learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes adorning an entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And neatly put away, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher that qualifies as "put away" in my house!
Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for friends. "Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone," she boasts. Not just scarves mind you. Amazing scarves. Martha's obviously not shy about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so with such frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue.
She goes on to tell us that "homemaking is glamour for the 90s," and says her most glamorous friends are "interested in stain removal, how to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel." I have one piece of advice, Martha: "Get new friends."
Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim. They drift past the Greek Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step out for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of toilet bowl sanitation. Zaslow notes that Martha was named one of America's 25 most influential people by Time magazine (nosing out Mother Theresa, Madeline Allbright and Maya Angelou, no doubt).
The proof of Martha's influence: after she bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha says, "People saw me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone." I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge.
A guest in Martha's home told Zaslow how Martha gets up early to rollerblade with her dogs to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast.
This confirms what I've suspected about Martha all along: She's obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to rollerblade. What a show off.
If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn't cost much. Pocket change, really. Just $5,000. But what price friendship, right?
When asked if others should envy her, Martha replies, "Don't envy me. I'm doing this because I'm a natural teacher. You shouldn't envy teachers. You should listen to them." Zaslow must have slit a seam in Martha's ego at this point, because once the hot air came hissing out, it couldn't be held back. "Being an overachiever is nothing despicable. It is only admirable. Never lower your standards," says Martha.
And of her Web Page on the Internet, Martha declares herself an "important presence" as she graciously helps people organize their sad, tacky little lives. There you have it, Santa. If there was ever someone who deserved a good smack, it's Martha Stewart. But I bet I won't get my gift this year.
Have you ever written a letter to santa?
Cute and thanks! Can't say much more than another star for you!
Reply:I would like to sign my name to that letter also! Chuckles and a star!!
Reply:I wrote one in 1949, or 1950. Never recieved a reply. Mail's a bit slow, so I'm figuring on an answer next year or the one after that.
Reply:where's the "punch" line ?
Reply:She's one of Santa's suppliers silly. what did you expect ? --- he knows better than you that she's really quite naughty -- and he loves it.
Reply:I have written letters to Santa. I never believed he reads them until I got the new dishwasher delivered a little bit ago. Thanks to Santa and a little help from the hubby, I hope you get what you asked for and agree she needs it.
Reply:I'm still waiting for Santa's reply.
Reply:I did write a letter to Santa and it was published in the newspaper.
I would love to smack Martha myself.. I guess I need to get in line. hehehe
Reply:I agree. I'd like to add Rachel Ray, Oprah %26amp; her ugly clone Dr Phil, Dr Laura, Rush......ok, I'm getting carried away now.
Most of my family is dead. I still have a daughter in the next town. I'm making cookies %26amp; we put up a few decorations, but that's it. My daughter %26amp; I are going to cook Christmas dinner together %26amp; our guys will be there to partake. (We could feed them hot dogs %26amp; they'd be happy!) The few gifts are little things I picked up throughout the year when I saw something I thought someone would like. I'm not crazy about jewelry nor flowers (although I'll take some good chocolate).
Back to Martha.....in that minimum security prison she "attended", they had a decorating contest %26amp; she lost! I loved that!
I found a pack of beef ribs for $4.00 the other day, so I cooked them for the 3 dogs after we were done with the grill the other night %26amp; the coals were still hot. I guarantee they will like them!
OK...I've ranted enough. Have a great holiday in whatever you choose to do. My motto is: "Do no harm, help those you can. Peace!
Reply:You are so darned cute! I "learn" from every post you make! Please don't ever stop.
Merry Christmas to you and all you love, and I truly hope you get your wish! June
Reply:Never wrote a letter to Santa. I am not a Martha fan. Even my paper plates don't match. This is cute. Thank you.
Reply:If reincarnation is true, I have said that I want to come back as one of Martha Stewart's pets. They seem to lead a more comfortable life than I do. After reading this from you, I am going to rethink my wish. Thank you.
Reply:I don't think I ever believed in Santa and the only reason I ever wrote a letter to him was because my primary school teacher made us do it.
Reply:That is so funny, and SO TRUE! But I love Martha,
she is a corporation all to herself, and that IS her life. She has no other. She reminds me that I really don't HAVE to be perfect, because she is doing it for me!
On the other hand, she has parlayed a few home crafts into a multimillion dollar industry. Annoying or not, she did it. But I don't envy her, not for a New York second.
A Martha Stewart Christmas?
Dear Santa:
I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.
I want to slap Martha Stewart.
Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it. Don't grant this wish just for me, do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all. Those of us leading average, garden variety lives aren't concerned with gracious living.
We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style for dinner. We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from hollyhock dipped in 18-carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold. Unless it's of the furniture polish variety. We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. Most of us can't even say turmeric, let alone figure out what to do with it.
OK, Santa, maybe you think I'm being a little harsh. But I'll bet with all the holiday rush you didn't catch that interview with Martha in last week's USA Weekend. I'm surprised there was enough room on the page for her ego.
We discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's only ordered it once), she refuses to eat it cold (No cold pizza? Is Martha Stewart living?) When it was pointed out that she could microwave it, she replied, "I don't have a microwave."
The reporter, Jeffrey Zaslow, noted that she said this "in a tone that suggests you shouldn't either."
Well, lah-dee-dah. Imagine that, Santa!
That lovely microwave you brought me years ago, in which I've learned to make complicated dishes like popcorn and hot chocolate, has been declared undesirable by Queen Martha. What next? The coffee maker?
In the article, we learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes adorning an entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And neatly put away, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher that qualifies as "put away" in my house!
Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for friends. "Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone," she boasts. Not just scarves mind you. Amazing scarves. Martha's obviously not shy about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so with such frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue.
She goes on to tell us that "homemaking is glamour for the 90s," and says her most glamorous friends are "interested in stain removal, how to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel." I have one piece of advice, Martha: "Get new friends."
Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim. They drift past the Greek Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step out for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of toilet bowl sanitation. Zaslow notes that Martha was named one of America's 25 most influential people by Time magazine (nosing out Mother Theresa, Madeline Allbright and Maya Angelou, no doubt).
The proof of Martha's influence: after she bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha says, "People saw me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone." I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge.
A guest in Martha's home told Zaslow how Martha gets up early to rollerblade with her dogs to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast.
This confirms what I've suspected about Martha all along: She's obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to rollerblade. What a show off.
If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn't cost much. Pocket change, really. Just $5,000. But what price friendship, right?
When asked if others should envy her, Martha replies, "Don't envy me. I'm doing this because I'm a natural teacher. You shouldn't envy teachers. You should listen to them." Zaslow must have slit a seam in Martha's ego at this point, because once the hot air came hissing out, it couldn't be held back. "Being an overachiever is nothing despicable. It is only admirable. Never lower your standards," says Martha.
And of her Web Page on the Internet, Martha declares herself an "important presence" as she graciously helps people organize their sad, tacky little lives. There you have it, Santa. If there was ever someone who deserved a good smack, it's Martha Stewart. But I bet I won't get my gift this year.
A Martha Stewart Christmas?
ho ho ho funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
merry Christmas
Reply:I'll be wishing your wish will come true!
Merry Christmas ♥☺
Reply:You have put into words what many have felt for years!!! She has a masters degree in condescending. Anyone who says they will miss their dogs and not mention their child when they are on their way to prison, is a ego manic of Biblical proportions.
Damn, now I want to smack her too!
Reply:if you dont like her why watch her tv programs just turn the bit*h off that will show her when her ratings go down.
personaly i dont know who the fu*k your on about
merry xmas to you all
Reply:Who's Martha Stewart? Never heard of her.
Reply:what i want from santa is for you to get your gift......that is number one on my list that IS my list.
Well that and the special edition dvd of the event.....so i can watch it over and over and over again,....and in 7 different languages, oohhh and the commentary... i truly hope it isn't to much to ask for.
Reply:REALLY L-- o--n---g.
Reply:Nobody will both reading such a diatribe that long. If you want reader's attention, cut it short
Reply:too long to read and who the hell is martha stewart ??
Reply:Haha. That's great.
but i love martha stewart .
Reply:self centred lush .
Reply:bless you for wishing for such a truly joyous thing!!!! i really hope that you get your wish and if you do,put a little extra oomph into your arm as you pull it back - just for me!!!!
have a very happy slappy Christmas!!!!!!!he he he he he he he he he he he he
Reply:dear gayyamster, the feed me cheese that you answered, I found it infectious. Now, if I may:
Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese
and......Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese
but don't slap martha stewart. My mum loves her, Can't think why though
I rarely ask for much. This year is no exception. I don't need diamond earrings, handy slicer-dicers or comfy slippers. I only want one little thing, and I want it deeply.
I want to slap Martha Stewart.
Now, hear me out, Santa. I won't scar her or draw blood or anything. Just one good smack, right across her smug little cheek. I get all cozy inside just thinking about it. Don't grant this wish just for me, do it for thousands of women across the country. Through sheer vicarious satisfaction, you'll be giving a gift to us all. Those of us leading average, garden variety lives aren't concerned with gracious living.
We feel pretty good about ourselves if our paper plates match when we stack them on the counter, buffet-style for dinner. We're tired of Martha showing us how to make centerpieces from hollyhock dipped in 18-carat gold. We're plumb out of liquid gold. Unless it's of the furniture polish variety. We can't whip up Martha's creamy holiday sauce, spiced with turmeric. Most of us can't even say turmeric, let alone figure out what to do with it.
OK, Santa, maybe you think I'm being a little harsh. But I'll bet with all the holiday rush you didn't catch that interview with Martha in last week's USA Weekend. I'm surprised there was enough room on the page for her ego.
We discovered that not only does Martha avoid take-out pizza (she's only ordered it once), she refuses to eat it cold (No cold pizza? Is Martha Stewart living?) When it was pointed out that she could microwave it, she replied, "I don't have a microwave."
The reporter, Jeffrey Zaslow, noted that she said this "in a tone that suggests you shouldn't either."
Well, lah-dee-dah. Imagine that, Santa!
That lovely microwave you brought me years ago, in which I've learned to make complicated dishes like popcorn and hot chocolate, has been declared undesirable by Queen Martha. What next? The coffee maker?
In the article, we learned that Martha has 40 sets of dishes adorning an entire wall in her home. Forty sets. Can you spell "overkill"? And neatly put away, no less. If my dishes make it to the dishwasher that qualifies as "put away" in my house!
Martha tells us she's already making homemade holiday gifts for friends. "Last year, I made amazing silk-lined scarves for everyone," she boasts. Not just scarves mind you. Amazing scarves. Martha's obviously not shy about giving herself a little pat on the back. In fact, she does so with such frequency that one has to wonder if her back is black and blue.
She goes on to tell us that "homemaking is glamour for the 90s," and says her most glamorous friends are "interested in stain removal, how to iron a monogram, and how to fold a towel." I have one piece of advice, Martha: "Get new friends."
Glamorous friends fly to Paris on a whim. They drift past the Greek Islands on yachts, sipping champagne from crystal goblets. They step out for the evening in shimmering satin gowns, whisked away by tuxedoed chauffeurs. They do not spend their days pondering the finer art of toilet bowl sanitation. Zaslow notes that Martha was named one of America's 25 most influential people by Time magazine (nosing out Mother Theresa, Madeline Allbright and Maya Angelou, no doubt).
The proof of Martha's influence: after she bought white-fleshed peaches in the supermarket, Martha says, "People saw me buy them. In an instant, they were all gone." I hope Martha never decides to jump off a bridge.
A guest in Martha's home told Zaslow how Martha gets up early to rollerblade with her dogs to pick fresh wild blackberries for breakfast.
This confirms what I've suspected about Martha all along: She's obviously got too much time on her hands. Teaching the dogs to rollerblade. What a show off.
If you think the dogs are spoiled, listen to how Martha treats her friends: She gave one friend all 272 books from the Knopf Everyman Library. It didn't cost much. Pocket change, really. Just $5,000. But what price friendship, right?
When asked if others should envy her, Martha replies, "Don't envy me. I'm doing this because I'm a natural teacher. You shouldn't envy teachers. You should listen to them." Zaslow must have slit a seam in Martha's ego at this point, because once the hot air came hissing out, it couldn't be held back. "Being an overachiever is nothing despicable. It is only admirable. Never lower your standards," says Martha.
And of her Web Page on the Internet, Martha declares herself an "important presence" as she graciously helps people organize their sad, tacky little lives. There you have it, Santa. If there was ever someone who deserved a good smack, it's Martha Stewart. But I bet I won't get my gift this year.
A Martha Stewart Christmas?
ho ho ho funny
thanks for a laugh
10/10
merry Christmas
Reply:I'll be wishing your wish will come true!
Merry Christmas ♥☺
Reply:You have put into words what many have felt for years!!! She has a masters degree in condescending. Anyone who says they will miss their dogs and not mention their child when they are on their way to prison, is a ego manic of Biblical proportions.
Damn, now I want to smack her too!
Reply:if you dont like her why watch her tv programs just turn the bit*h off that will show her when her ratings go down.
personaly i dont know who the fu*k your on about
merry xmas to you all
Reply:Who's Martha Stewart? Never heard of her.
Reply:what i want from santa is for you to get your gift......that is number one on my list that IS my list.
Well that and the special edition dvd of the event.....so i can watch it over and over and over again,....and in 7 different languages, oohhh and the commentary... i truly hope it isn't to much to ask for.
Reply:REALLY L-- o--n---g.
Reply:Nobody will both reading such a diatribe that long. If you want reader's attention, cut it short
Reply:too long to read and who the hell is martha stewart ??
Reply:Haha. That's great.
but i love martha stewart .
Reply:self centred lush .
Reply:bless you for wishing for such a truly joyous thing!!!! i really hope that you get your wish and if you do,put a little extra oomph into your arm as you pull it back - just for me!!!!
have a very happy slappy Christmas!!!!!!!he he he he he he he he he he he he
Reply:dear gayyamster, the feed me cheese that you answered, I found it infectious. Now, if I may:
Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese
and......Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese Feed me cheese
but don't slap martha stewart. My mum loves her, Can't think why though
Isn't this poem gorgeous? What all do you like about it?
The poplar trees sway to and fro
That through this gray old garden go
Like slender girls with nodding heads,
Whispering above the beds
Of tall tufted hollyhocks,
Of purple asters and of phlox;
Caught in the daisies' dreaming gold
Recklessly scattered wealth untold
About their slender graceful feet
Like poised dancers, lithe and fleet.
The candled flames of roses here
Gutter gold in this still air,
And clouds glide down the western sky
To watch this sun-drenched revery,
While the poplars' shining crests
Lightly brush their silvered breasts,
Dreaming not of winter snows
That soon will shake their maiden rows.
The days dream by, golden-white,
About the fountain's silver light
That lifts and shivers in the breeze
Gracefully slim as are the trees;
Then shakes down its glistered hair
by, William Faulkner
Isn't this poem gorgeous? What all do you like about it?
it is, really! the poem may look some kind of 'think about it' but its a real perfect poem to read by a person experiencing too much hardships and tired of the things he is doing. This gives light, saying that life is not that bad if he only looks to the beauty within each little creatures made with the loving hand of God.
Hope you like how I appreciate that relaxing poem!!!
Reply:im not much of a faulkner fan
no, i dont like it.
not for any negative reason, it just doesnt touch me on an emotional level
shoe deodorant
That through this gray old garden go
Like slender girls with nodding heads,
Whispering above the beds
Of tall tufted hollyhocks,
Of purple asters and of phlox;
Caught in the daisies' dreaming gold
Recklessly scattered wealth untold
About their slender graceful feet
Like poised dancers, lithe and fleet.
The candled flames of roses here
Gutter gold in this still air,
And clouds glide down the western sky
To watch this sun-drenched revery,
While the poplars' shining crests
Lightly brush their silvered breasts,
Dreaming not of winter snows
That soon will shake their maiden rows.
The days dream by, golden-white,
About the fountain's silver light
That lifts and shivers in the breeze
Gracefully slim as are the trees;
Then shakes down its glistered hair
by, William Faulkner
Isn't this poem gorgeous? What all do you like about it?
it is, really! the poem may look some kind of 'think about it' but its a real perfect poem to read by a person experiencing too much hardships and tired of the things he is doing. This gives light, saying that life is not that bad if he only looks to the beauty within each little creatures made with the loving hand of God.
Hope you like how I appreciate that relaxing poem!!!
Reply:im not much of a faulkner fan
no, i dont like it.
not for any negative reason, it just doesnt touch me on an emotional level
shoe deodorant
Any luck growing hollyhocks by seed up in the north,,, other than osmicote fertilzer.. anything special I shou
omgoodness.
Not sure how far North you are but I live in Northren NY near the Canadian border. I have grow Hollyhocks from seed for a very long time. They reseed every year to the point that I am being invaded. Had to start pulling them up at all stages. They have a deep root system and difficult to dig.
No fertilizer necessary...they WILL grow !!
Any luck growing hollyhocks by seed up in the north,,, other than osmicote fertilzer.. anything special I shou
I live in Gods tantrum of a climate, North Dakota and like Charlotte says they're a weed around here, give them lots of benign neglect and they'll be fine. RScott
Not sure how far North you are but I live in Northren NY near the Canadian border. I have grow Hollyhocks from seed for a very long time. They reseed every year to the point that I am being invaded. Had to start pulling them up at all stages. They have a deep root system and difficult to dig.
No fertilizer necessary...they WILL grow !!
Any luck growing hollyhocks by seed up in the north,,, other than osmicote fertilzer.. anything special I shou
I live in Gods tantrum of a climate, North Dakota and like Charlotte says they're a weed around here, give them lots of benign neglect and they'll be fine. RScott
Would pine straw be a good mulch for hollyhocks?
pine straw makes a good mulch it will move your soil ph to a slightly acid when it decomposes and will not hurt your hollyhocks . it will keep down a lot of weeds that try to grow in your flower beds !
Would pine straw be a good mulch for hollyhocks?
No, Pine needles have too much turpentine in them. If they aren't composted, Pine Needles will kill most plants.
Reply:nope,it is dry and smelly bad for digestion and the such!!
Reply:Yes..and hay would too!
Would pine straw be a good mulch for hollyhocks?
No, Pine needles have too much turpentine in them. If they aren't composted, Pine Needles will kill most plants.
Reply:nope,it is dry and smelly bad for digestion and the such!!
Reply:Yes..and hay would too!
I have an old Japanese sword!!?
I have 2 old japanese swords that my family has had for a long time.. One I'm focused on more than the other, since I found a certain signature on it. It reads in japanese characters:
O
Gasa
Wara
Naga
Mune
Sake
So apparently it is a name, and I found only one name online that matched; a person called Ogasawara Nagamune(Sake just indicates the maker) who lived from 1492-1549.
Now, the fact that it has a belt buckle which was common at this time(Mouromachi period 1465-1555) and has a Koto sword period(900-1530) style with a blade from 60-65cm leaves me thinking that it might actually be 500 years old perhaps. The tang of the blade (both blades actually) reveal a rusty untouched brown patina, which is a sign that it is old.. So it's all good news so far. For some reason however, the sheath, tsuba, and fittings all carry the Tokugawa shogunate crest, the 3 leaf hollyhock.. Any sword experts out there who can help me find this swords origins??? jedimasterham@yahoo.com
I have an old Japanese sword!!?
try going to a museum and ask... maybe the archeologist will do a carbon test, but it might not work if you had been polishing it, unless you want them to poke a hole in it.
Reply:Bad luck to have in the home if real.
Take them to an insurance appraiser to see if its a fine quality knock off.
Reply:Wielded by Hideyoshi Toyotomi himself!
I'm JK man. It could be a replica. Leave a sword out in the rain and it'll look like a relic in no time.
Reply:I'm no sword expert, but from what I do understand is that the blade has always been infinitely more important than the fittings, so fittings were often replaced for various reasons. The blades themselves could survive several generations of use before needing to be replaced, but I cannot say the same for the fittings. I hope I have been of help to you.
O
Gasa
Wara
Naga
Mune
Sake
So apparently it is a name, and I found only one name online that matched; a person called Ogasawara Nagamune(Sake just indicates the maker) who lived from 1492-1549.
Now, the fact that it has a belt buckle which was common at this time(Mouromachi period 1465-1555) and has a Koto sword period(900-1530) style with a blade from 60-65cm leaves me thinking that it might actually be 500 years old perhaps. The tang of the blade (both blades actually) reveal a rusty untouched brown patina, which is a sign that it is old.. So it's all good news so far. For some reason however, the sheath, tsuba, and fittings all carry the Tokugawa shogunate crest, the 3 leaf hollyhock.. Any sword experts out there who can help me find this swords origins??? jedimasterham@yahoo.com
I have an old Japanese sword!!?
try going to a museum and ask... maybe the archeologist will do a carbon test, but it might not work if you had been polishing it, unless you want them to poke a hole in it.
Reply:Bad luck to have in the home if real.
Take them to an insurance appraiser to see if its a fine quality knock off.
Reply:Wielded by Hideyoshi Toyotomi himself!
I'm JK man. It could be a replica. Leave a sword out in the rain and it'll look like a relic in no time.
Reply:I'm no sword expert, but from what I do understand is that the blade has always been infinitely more important than the fittings, so fittings were often replaced for various reasons. The blades themselves could survive several generations of use before needing to be replaced, but I cannot say the same for the fittings. I hope I have been of help to you.
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